This love.

There is a love.  It’s a love that’s hard to fathom, until you know it.  It seems out of reach, until you’ve attained it.  It appears surreal, until you’ve experienced it.  Yes, there is a love like no other.  It’s unconditional, unearned, unfailing, unending.  It is freely given, but at a high cost – a cost that has already been ransomed.  This love.  There is nothing like it.


 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

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All scriptures from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 or New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson

Not a diversion, but a part of His beautiful masterpiece

I sat crying yesterday as I re-read the pages of a journal I had started in February about this wonderful new season God was leading me into.  A season of discovery, a season of healing, a season of running forward into the plans and purposes He designed me for.

As I read the pages of that journal it wasn’t tears of disappointment or tears of discouragement; it was tears of awe in God.  A reminder just how much He loves each and every one of us and looks upon each of us individually.  As I had written my thoughts on paper in February, I didn’t know what was coming up in the world, but He knew. As I was reading my own words I realized just how relevant they are for today.  He was settling things on my heart that I never would have imagined would bring comfort to me as I sat on Easter Sunday reflecting on the past month.

It’s been a month to the day when I got the notice that schools would be closing for two weeks, and on that day I couldn’t have known what that notification was the beginning of – where we were headed as a community, as a nation, as a world.  God knew.

Today was to be the start of a “week of ministry” for healing God revealed to me in January of this year that I need.  See below excerpt from my February 1 blog post titled “This time of seeking… Full access to my heart, I’m in awe.” describing this healing:

So, during this time of seeking He has revealed much to me. He has revealed my need for deeper healing and He has said I have been progressing and progressing over these past few years, which is great, but I have run into a wall and have progressed as far as I will progress until that wall is broken down. God has revealed this wall to me and He has revealed that now is His timing to break it down. Praise God!

When I wrote that blog post on February 1, I was excited that April 13, 2020 would be the start of a week of Him breaking down that wall.  Such a short time away and I was full of anticipation and excitement!  On February 25, about this wall, in my personal journal, I wrote, “I have to be patient. He is going to break it down. My RTF week of ministry is April 13-17. That is not too far off. I can be patient. I can wait on the Lord. This will come soon, very soon.”

The Lord had spoken so clearly in January as I was seeking Him in prayer and fasting and I was excited about all I was hearing.  He had put it on my heart to travel this year, something I have never done, and explore the beauty of His creation.  Another excerpt from my February 1 post:

During this time of seeking He has been telling me now is a time for discovery – discovery of who I really am in Him and more discovery of who He is. He has put it on my heart to travel with my son and, in doing so, He tells me it will help in this discovery of who I am and more of who He is.

The following is very personal and I’m being very transparent as I share this, but what the Lord has shown me, it is truth for all of you too.  I hope you can be encouraged by what I’m sharing.  If someone who doesn’t know the Lord happens to read this, I hope you can see a glimpse of what it’s like to have Him by your side.  For those who are walking with the Lord, I hope my own personal experience is a reminder to You that He is in control; He sees you, He is near to you and He is working all things for your good.  He looks upon each of us individually.  He loves each and every one of us in such an amazing way we can’t fully fathom it.  This level of detail He has put forth in my life, He does the same for you; you just have to have your eyes and heart open to see His hand in your life.  He is there and every word He speaks is truth.  He truly is working all things for your good.

So, here it is (if you can read my sloppy writing):

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I hadn’t picked up that journal in fifteen days until yesterday when I decided to go back and process anything I had heard from God since beginning the journal, which I had started in early February specifically to take note of and process anything God might be speaking to me.  I got to these two pages and the tears flowed.  A note of what I really thought today would look like…  my healing.  This part He led me to write, “His ways are higher… When I look around at this world, there is so much beyond our understanding… Everything in His Word, even when it is complex and beyond our limited spectrum, is complete and solid truth.”  Such truth for today.  My own words, “I can be patient.  I can wait on the Lord.”  Such a timely reminder for today.  The scripture He placed on my heart on February 26: “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!”  (Psalm 27:14 NKJV).  There couldn’t have been a better scripture for me to read yesterday. 

These two pages from my own journal are just what God wanted me to be reminded of today and I am thankful to Him that He led me to put those words on paper, when I didn’t even realize that today there would be significance in what I had written down back in February.  God is so good and faithful!  This is a perfect example of how He cares so deeply for us and comforts us and guides us.  He is so good!

There was a potential I could have woke up discouraged this morning as I am not where I thought I would be today (in Tennessee starting my week of ministry and having that wall broke down in the way I thought it would look).  You could potentially be in that place of discouragement right now as some things you were hoping for haven’t turned out the way you thought they would.  But, please be encouraged, God is in control and everything you may see as falling apart or as a diversion, may very well be a big part in the masterpiece God is favorably working in your life.  Don’t let what you are facing discourage you or cause you doubt; God is still working for your good and He will fulfill every promise He has spoken.

Glory and praise to God!

 


— So I have to add this, as God just comforted me even as I am reviewing what I just wrote and listening to worship.  I have the Spotify free version so I do not choose the song and this is no coincidence.  This song just came on called “Take Courage” and the lyrics she is singing go along with the scripture I just shared above from my February 26 journal entry.  God is so good!  He comforts us and He is always near!

“Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing”

(from song, Take Courage by Bethel Music, Kristene DiMarco, from the album “Starlight.”)

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All scriptures from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 or New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson

If but only one…

“If but only one.”  This is a phrase God spoke to my heart as He started giving me more and more assignments which involved stepping out of my comfort zone and being bold.  This phrase has been a continual encouragement for me as the Holy Spirit leads me to offer words of encouragement to others or to engage in acts of generosity.

When the Lord first started giving me assignments I felt uncomfortable and I felt insufficient.  I felt like words of encouragement or acts of generosity coming from me would have no significance in reaching someone.  I thought if the same words or acts would be coming from someone else they would be well received, but from me they wouldn’t have significance.  Obviously, this was lies the enemy had fed me that left me in bondage to my insecurities and prevented me from being able to be used by God to reach others in a way He wanted me to.  Praise God that I am no longer in bondage to those insecurities!

For anyone who feels led to encourage others in any way, you have to operate in the peace of trusting that God has purpose in every single thing He calls you to do, even when you won’t  always see the fruit of it.  Sometimes you will have opportunity to see the fruit of it unfolding before your eyes, and that is an amazing thing, but other times your role in encouraging is to plant a seed that you will not be able to see the outcome God has planned.  Find peace in being obedient.  As you are obedient to anything He calls you to do, you can trust that He has amazing purposes attached to every willing act of obedience.

In all that you do, “if but only one” is reached that has to be enough!  If you are in a room of people and He gives you a word to speak for someone, speak it out!  It may make absolutely no sense to everyone else in that room, but if it reaches that one person He intended it to reach, there is so much power in that!

I’m going to give an example of this in my own life that happened right after He started to speak to me about reaching “if but only one.”  The Lord put it on my heart to put together this small event for single moms and their kids who had been connected in my small group at one point or another.  He put it on my heart to invite all of them, even if they had only come to one meeting and never returned.  First, let me just say, event planning is something I’ve never done and never been interested in doing; the thought of it gives me anxiety.  But, this was different.  The Lord placed it on my heart and I was willing, and as a result the Holy Spirit led me in every detail.  I even found myself designing invitations and special name badges and ordering medals for the moms and kids.  I’m just saying it was His strength and power at work in me!

So the day came and went and I had my “if but only one” moment where the Lord blessed me with opportunity to see the fruit.  There was this one lady in particular who had only come to one small group the summer before and didn’t come back.  In that one small group meeting she had come to, she expressed that she had some social anxiety.  I really felt a strong push to invite her and to remind her of the event as it neared.  She made a last minute decision the night before the event that she would attend.

I could tell some moms and kids enjoyed the event more than others.  For some moms and kids, being outdoors and having friendly competition was not their thing (I’m sure you all know the type of kid who can’t handle losing so throws the monopoly game when they lose — hopefully not your own little angel)!  So, by the end of the event some had left early and some got enjoyment out of the time.  No matter how much anyone enjoyed it or didn’t I knew it was all worth it as God showed me the “if but only one.”

At home settling down for the night, I received a text from this lady who had expressed before to having social anxiety and had never came back to group after one meeting.  She sent me several pictures she had taken of her kids, who looked as happy as if they were at Disney, and she said these words, “Thank you for today. I needed it.”  After giving God glory and sharing with her that God had led every detail of the event, including who to invite, she responded, “He really guided me there today through you.”  I  don’t know all the details of what this lady struggled with and what all she was set free from that day,  but I’m telling you God did a powerful work!  He blessed me with the opportunity, in this instance, to have a glimpse of the fruit that came out of my obedience.  We won’t always see the fruit, but I know He showed me it that day to remind me the importance of “if but only one” being reached as we step out in obedience to all He calls us to do.

So, I encourage you, whatever God places on your heart to do, you do it!  Step out of your comfort zone when its required, climb over your walls, speak when you think you’re not sufficient, pray when you worry your words won’t flow, give when you don’t see the impact it could make!  Step out and do all He calls you to do!  Let His power flow through you!  If but only one person is reached, if but only one person is healed, if but only one person experiences freedom, if but only one person is saved!

Praise God!



But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. (2 Corinthians 4:7)

It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak because we know that the One who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to Himself.  All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. (2 Corinthians 4:13-15)

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

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All scriptures from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 or New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson

This time of seeking… Full access to my heart, I’m in awe.

I am in this season of seeking. On January 10, I reached an “end of myself” moment and I knew, “I HAVE to seek God.” This has been a different level of seeking than I’ve ever done before and I have done quite a bit of seeking in my walk with God. I think the difference in this time of seeking is my desperation. I reached this moment where I felt a desperate need for God and I knew in that moment He is the only one who can help and heal me.

I started my seeking on January 13 and it has been an amazing three weeks! I’m telling you, God has me in awe. He seriously looks upon each of us individually and He wants to speak to each of us and reveal His plans to us. He wants to do this but we have to give Him access. Over these past three weeks, I have really given my heart over to Him in a new way; I have given Him complete access to do whatever He desires in me and through me.

So, during this time of seeking He has revealed much to me. He has revealed my need for deeper healing and He has said I have been progressing and progressing over these past few years, which is great, but I have run into a wall and have progressed as far as I will progress until that wall is broken down. God has revealed this wall to me and He has revealed that now is His timing to break it down. Praise God!

After being saved almost six years ago, during my very first time of fasting and prayer, He told me has He has plans and purposes for me which He has uniquely designed me to accomplish. Specifically during this time of seeking Him, He has been telling me that same thing and has said that He is going to be revealing gifts and talents to me that I didn’t know I even had within me and that I won’t be wasted; He is going to use me. He’s expressed that He is going to be awakening my creative side. You see, my life has been such that when I got saved it was, metaphorically speaking, as if I had just crawled out from living my life in an attic to see this whole beautiful new world I had never known.  During this time of seeking He has been telling me now is a time for discovery – discovery of who I really am in Him and more discovery of who He is. He has put it on my heart to travel with my son and, in doing so, He tells me it will help in this discovery of who I am and more of who He is.

I have definitely been discovering more of who He is. As I have given my heart fully to Him in this time of seeking He has given confirmation after confirmation after confirmation of what He is speaking to me. Words He has spoken into my heart, a prayer from a friend a couple weeks back with the same words, an email with the same words, me getting prophetically spoken to from a speaker in a crowd of hundreds with the same words. All this in this short time of seeking Him. Not only is He making it a point to get across the words He is speaking to me, He is showing me just how much He cares for us each individually.

We are all special in His sight and He has plans and purposes for each and every one of us. He loves us so much and He desires to speak to us. He is there ready to do a work in us and through us. It’s our choice. Are we going to be focused on things of this world and let Him be drowned out or are we willing to give Him full access to our hearts?

I’m willing. I pray you are too. He has amazing plans to accomplish through me and He has the same for you! Let Him have full access! He is waiting to reveal much to you, much about who He is and much about who He has created you to be in Him. 💗


He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works. (Psalm 33:15)

You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)

I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me find Me. (Proverbs 8:17)

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

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All scriptures from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 or New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson